around the thoughts in 17 ways

in the meanwhile i accept the whole situation of being a student. this doesn’t mean i like it, but… it should be okay for the next weeks and months, so why bother about the time later?

 yesterday rahel and i went into the cinema, really nice movie… but i always had to think about him. it’s such a pity that my mind’s not able to forget him or stop my soul to be disappointed, if he says something i don’t want to hear. such things like… “no… i’ve to go to the other ball… and you know that i don’t like such events…”

it’s mindblowing to be striked down by little words like these. devastating… but hey… old loves they die hard, don’t they?

yeah, today i’m really irritated, frustrated, angry, fierce, explosive and any other expression you can find for my extremely ongoing madness. perhaps i should sleep more or i should leave my hometown, never come back and travel through different countries. (yes, this would be a very clever plan… after i got the permission to go to university finally)

i’m sad, ’cause i had no idea that leaving home would hurt this much. the last weeks were bloody brilliant and i only want to have this feeling for the rest of my life…. and yes, i am definitly too lazy to organise my own life. it was so comfortable… until now.

and my ordered “dark passion play” – album isn’t here yet and this is another cause why my behavior is ridiculous.

i’m making the greatest fool of all of myself.

the only helpful thing: 30 seconds to mars. good night.