around the thoughts in 17 ways

most people think a day full of silence and rest is rare. i don’t agree. it’s really depressing if you’ve nothing to do. really nothing… i mean… i should write another excerpt but hey… this doesn’t take too long.

maybe i’ll visit later the cemetaries. just to take a look if everything’s right. the grave of my gran would be nice to draw… it’s really special. afterwards the grave of my great-grandparents and when i’m there i should visit little timi’s resting place, too.

hell… a little child… yesterday he was buried. i couldn’t fight back the tears… he was so young. and the slightest thought of his family’s agony take my breath. i should do this. i mean… i haven’t “seen” my gran for one and a half week, tomorrow I’ll head towards salzburg again and then another boring week.

i should really find a job or something else. in fromer times i always wanted to do something special for a living… event management, painting, writing poetry and novels… being a famous philosopher.

and today… i just don’t know what to do with myself.

going out hasn’t this calming effect anylonger. jumping around, dancing, singing, closing my eyes and feel the bass-vibrations inside. nothing left… only this tiny little feeling of uselessness.

well… maybe i’m making mead next weekend… i’m missing my dear friend… the crestfallen one… i hope he can recover somehow. this lost… this cruesome lost of his nephew.

and you stand next to him and you cannot help him. no way. no word is able to make this burden easier. nothing helps. except of time. and time… noone knows how much he or she has left. a scarry vision.