around the thoughts in 17 ways

well… this tradition keeps imagination rolling. if you know what i mean.
i started to write two new stories, though one is only for my dearest dom. (yes, i’m awake. i can’t fucking sleep after my gran’s coffee… it should be sold as “wake the dead” – drink… maybe the coffee i drank with you in the nice little gutenberg wasn’t this wise either or the assam-tea afterwards. i have no bloody idea. and yes… i’m a little bit annoyed.)

our yearly gluttony passed and i wasn’t able to eat the whole menu.

our little musicians were terrible… but great fun… this orchestra should take some time to rehearse the following year… but wow… they made a good job. really… one of my cousins got a keyboard, the other one an e-guitar… only two days ago… and they could play… a little bit.

after singing and laughing we spoke a little prayer and it was hard not to cry. one single tear escaped. i still don’t like the thought about losing grandma nr. 1. or that a tiny human being had to leave.

the gifts were really nice. today i’m going shopping. i’m in the need of new boots since i can’t find the ones i bought two years ago, though they are practically new.

i shouldn’t smoke again, but meanwhile i’m a heavy addicted person. and a headache pill coulnd’t hurt either.

sleep well, dear folks.

well, i had a lot of fun tonight. it was a feeling of coming home again. the whole bunch of relatives came up to our traditional visit from “nikolaus”… in some ways he’s like the world famous santa. he has a white beard and some sack full of nuts, chocolate and some other kinds of sweets or presents.
but the original idea behind our nice mr. nikolaus is based on this bishop from… myra… he was a very nice man and cared about others very much, helped them out when they needed something… not only a cup of coffee or something like this… he helped the people to survive under the hardest conditions. something like bred for the poor ones.
it really makes me think about other people… especially when i look around and recognize what a pleasure our lifes are nowadays. but still most of us don’t seem to be satisfied. sad.

right now i’m listening track 3 of the garden state soundtrack… i need this chilly feeling to come down and don’t be so… maybe you really can say… depressed. i mean… me and my ex we talked for a long time last weekend and we decided to give it another chance… but only something very open… just like a weekend-relationship… and now… he couldn’t find time to give me a call… on the one hand i’m really worried, maybe somthing terrible happened… but i know him for so long and so i’m really fierce on the other hand.

it’s just like the last weeks in our fucking relationship. i worried to death and he enjoys himself. well, since i don’t really know anything and i believe in the good in all people (i know it’s naive)… i only can wait.

maybe it’s easier to forget all those wasted feelings for him. it would be better for me.

but love… love is a really bad thing. so people… better fall in love with someone who shows you how much you mean to him or her.